Roll with the Changes

Change is hard. Uncomfortable.

But, do you know what's more uncomfortable for me? Seeing people who have never changed.

I believe that there is a core of you that you can't really change. That's "you." It's what you may need to create adaptations for, or change your thinking about. But, I also believe that your core is very, very small.

For example, I can't change that I'm 5'3. Neither can my mother, as much as she would tease me for being short. I didn't buy petite clothing for over a decade because I didn't want to acknowledge that I'm short.

Except...I am. I can't change it!

I could change my thinking, though. Ultimately, clothing is not about the size label; it's about the fit. So, I started buying (petite) clothes that fit me. I told my mother that I am sensitive to being teased about my height (which she subsequently teased me about). After about a year of changing my attitude and my purchase habits, a new norm emerged: I wear petite clothes. And my mom actually looks for petite things for me. It's not 100% perfect (nor is it just my mother who finds it HILARIOUS to joke about the height disparity between other family members and me; apparently it's a "great" ice breaker for professional photographers as well), but the teasing has been reduced enough that I can tolerate the once-in-a-while wisecracks.

In my life, I've had my mettle tested numerous times. I go through the uncomfortable change zone at least once every five years.

Seeing people who appear to never have changed (I've met a handful in my professional life) are a bit of a curiosity to me. These people seem to want the situation to adjust to them, versus the opposite, and seem a bit flummoxed when they keep getting the same unsatisfactory result from situations.

I admit, from time to time I am envious of people who can stay constant. When I'm in the middle of a period of change, the thought of living a life without pain or challenge seems peaceful. I forget that it also results in an unfulfilled life.

The people I know who have resisted change seem terminally unhappy in specific aspects of their lives. Someone is "out to get them." Life is "unfair." And, nothing changes.

It appears to me that when you fight change, you have limited opportunity for positive things to happen in your life. If you're thrown into a sea of opportunity, you can either keep trying to float on the top or you can sink to the bottom. Floating is work, but if you don't put in the work, it is more difficult to recognize when the rewards come your way.

Today, I'm grateful that I pushed myself during a very challenging spin class and kept up for most of the class. The class format requires you to keep pretty significant tension on your bike throughout the workout, and maintain a minimum speed of 80 rpm. I found it interesting that, while at times this challenge (moderate-high tension and maintaining 80 rpm) seemed difficult, when the instructor invited us to increase tension AND speed (rpms) during parts of the workout, suddenly moderate-high tension and 80 rpm didn't seem so tough. I actually looked forward to what I had dreaded just 15 minutes earlier!

The human body does not give accurate measurements. Difficulty is a fluid measure. Once I was introduced to something more challenging than what I was doing before, the return to my former challenge felt like a respite from work. So it is with life. Because of the challenges that I've been through, I'm able to handle more challenges and be less stressed when old ones re-present themselves.