Saturday, December 1, 2012

Better Late than...

I can never start that adage without picturing the scene from The Golden Girls where Rue McClanahan, as Blanche, completes it with an emphatic, "PREGNANT!"

Veracity of that statement aside, I am writing about "Better Late than Never."

I'm a perfectionist and it's biting me in the ass.

Growing up, I didn't want to try anything that I wasn't good at. I didn't consider the possibility of people seeing me fail; I didn't want them to see me be "not good."

Looking back on life after a few decades of experience, I see that my original methodology was a bit flawed. I missed opportunities. Some I may not realize. Some I may not recapture.

But, I'm trying. Step by step.

My mindset began its evolution when I was in high school. I worked in customer service. With the advent of social media, you can now get my 3 summers of education in one perusal of Facebook:

Whatever you are about to say/do is probably not the most ridiculous thing I've heard/witnessed all day.

How liberating.

Thank you, woman who argued with me over the address of my workplace because it was "Building in a Shopping Plaza, Shopping Plaza" versus "123 Anywhere Street."

Thank you, one-toothed man who felt the need to justify his purchase of Kodiak chewing tobacco by saying that it was his-dentist-recommended for dental hygiene.

Thank you, woman who wanted me to write "Happy birthday and best wishes for the coming years, Rebecca" on a six-inch diameter bakery cake.

I started slowly, with areas that I was already comfortable in, but needed more empowerment. Asserting myself with grades, assignments, paperwork, purchase disputes.

Now, I'm tackling the social issues. Dance classes, golf, talking to strangers.

Admittedly, sometimes I feel like the fresh-out-of-8th-grade freshman trying to navigate high school all over again. I'm learning what I feel like everyone already knows. I'm taking failures as an adult that most people have hurdled as teens.

But, better late than never.

Heck, Day 1 of learning to tap dance as an adult was the perfect storm of my worst fears: I was the only person who had never tap danced before, ever, AND I sucked, AND I sucked in front of a crowd. But that was Day 1. Day 2, I got better. And by the end of 10 weeks, I was dancing better than the women who had taken tap as kids.

Also, I realize that part of this is the perfectionist in me talking. I've met plenty of people my age or older who share my struggles. I've also met people who are too scared to take the first leap into change.

In the words of Ian Fleming (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang):
Never say 'no' to adventure. Always say 'yes' otherwise you'll lead a very dull life.

Today, I'm grateful for my past struggles and the perspective that they've given me to tackle future challenges. I know that the discomfort of change is temporary, but the results are permanent.

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