Fun = Success?

One of my biggest life breakthroughs was including "fun" in my definition of "success."

As I mentioned before, I'm very driven. It is hard to fight my nature to be the best at everything.

To shift my mindset, I started (and continue to maintain), a list of activities that I engage in with an end goal of "fun" versus "total make-you-run-home-crying-to-your-mom domination."

That list is:

• Bowling
• Pool/Billiards
• Golf
• Karaoke

 (If you expected a longer list, please go back and read paragraph 2)

All joking aside, there's actually a method to my madness.

First, yes, I need a list of things I do "just for fun." And, when I get frustrated that I'm not the best or because I'm on the receiving end of competitive trash talk, I remember my list and my goals for engaging in the activity. I remind myself that this is on the "just for fun" list. It's OK to not be the best, as long as I'm having fun. If I'm not having fun, what do I need to do to make the activity fun? (Usually with bowling, it's my Strike Cheer.)

Second, my list isn't all-inclusive. It is somewhat competitive (or comparative) activities where I have found that my enjoyment of them is easily overshadowed by discouragement by not being the best. They are specific struggle points where, when I am struggling, I can just remind myself that they are "on the list." I have specifically decided that these activities do not warrant the extra practice time or emotional turmoil that comes with not being the best, but wanting to claim that #1 spot. The list is my Life List of Things I Will Not Be The Best At -- By Choice. (A point to note is that I don't necessarily want to be the WORST at these activities -- I recently invested in golf lessons to improve my game, for example -- but I don't want my quest to improve to overshadow my enjoyment of the activities.)

Realistically, my short list is Things at Which I Want to be #1. Don't tell my perfectionist side that (yet). I understand that I have limited time and energy; I want to devote those resources to areas that mean the most to me. I am still sorting through what those priorities are. To that end, right now in my life, most things have an IMPORTANT stamp next to them. "The List" reminds me that I don't have to be the best at something to enjoy it, and that life should include a fair amount of things that I simply enjoy.

As I mentioned before, I am trying to define success based on my achievements versus a goal, versus simply comparing myself to others. If I'm having fun at something that I enjoy, but don't want to excel at, then I'm achieving my "success" goal.

Today, I'm grateful for these funky socks that I picked up. I seem to have a knack for finding weird owl-wear during the Christmas season. They were a pleasant surprise in the pack of socks that I bought.