Thursday, November 29, 2012

Testing

I hate to be Brokeback Mountain about it, but I guess I just can't quit my blog.

I would like it to be more of an inspirational writing spot for me because what I need right now is reminders that, to quote a line from one of my favorite movies, "Life always matters...very much."

To that end, I'm not sure how frequently I'll be posting.

I started a tradition with my Christmas tree when I took it down in January of this year. I have ornaments that open (the Korbel ornament, pictured to the right). Inside, you are supposed to put wishes for the new year.

I was tentative about the process, and put down a very vague intention: I would like 2012 to be better than 2011.

Yeah, so far...um...on the surface, 2012 is not working out to be better than 2011. I'm sure most people are familiar with the feeling: just when you think you can't handle any more crap being dumped on you, more crap rains down.

I guess the interesting thing is, though, I realized this morning that I'm actually GLAD that I'm going through a lot of bad things this year. It means that next year, if I have a similar vague intention, I should have a better 2013. I don't see how it could get much worse.

Truly, I am going through a rebuilding year. It is a year where I am laying the groundwork for positive changes in my life. This year sucks great big monkey balls, but I know that it will be a year that I will look back on in the future and say that it was the start of a turnaround for me. Because, honestly, what I've encountered in the last six months of this year is a fast band-aid rip of awful compared to the past six years of my life.

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone -- and that goes for the bad as well as the good. I didn't realize how bad the last six years were until I didn't have to deal with them anymore. I'm still learning how to deal with the world as I used to, versus how I'd been conditioned to over the past six years.

I recognize that I'm in a growth phase of my life. From past experience, I know that they always suck, but are worth the tears, the pain and the change.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Is that a great big monkey's balls or great big balls on a monkey?